I have a really hot waiter.
Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.
IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.
wanna know what these all say?
"suck his dick"
when british people say “maths” i laugh because thats fucking stupid
when american people say “math” i laugh because thats fucking stupid
when teachers say math i cry because i’m fucking stupid
I wish all spiders looked like Andrew Garfield.
Can you imagine though?
You’re walking around your house and then you see a really tiny Andrew Garfield running around in costume.
i thought we were talking about andrew garfield’s head on a spider’s body
me in class